I've had enough

And you would understand me (but I suppose you are not reading me).

I've had enough about everything, about my being so...MYSELF and having mud in return. MUD IN HEART, that's the truth.
No DIAMOND, MUD.

I give affection and have nothing in return. You say and live the distance and give me no chance to explain.
The truth is that I'm not allowed in your life.
Everybody is.. you treat others in different way, ignore me when I need more attention and tenderness.

When I met you, long long time ago, I thought you were a ray of Light. But ... NOW.
I've just realize.
You are joking with the all of us. You're joking and treat us in the same way: when you like it, you kill me; when you like it, you love me. When you like it, you love and kille some other one.
You're my killer. But will never be my lover.
Sorry, of course you are,but only in my mind and your intention.

That's not good, bad boy.

I've had enough.

Who do you think you are? I can change my mind, you know?
- the truth is that I'm trying to change my mind but I cannot 'cause I really love you-

Million years ago, someone wrote on a sheet:

"I have made no such pretension. I have faults enough, but they are not, I hope, of understanding. My temper I dare not vouch for. It is, I believe, too little yielding-- certainly too little for the convenience of the world. I cannot forget the follies and vices of other so soon as I ought, nor their offenses against myself. My feelings are not puffed about with every attempt to move them. My temper would perhaps be called resentful. My good opinion once lost, is lost forever" (jane Austen, pride and prejudice)

That's all.
You will understand me if reading.
But you are not reading, you're scrollin' pages looking for yourself, but you won't find yourself in here.. I can sketch you: I do not know you as well. That's what is hurting me.

Give affection and have nothing in return.

For Christ's Sake.
For Heaven's SAKE.
HOLY SHIT.

I told to someone, one day, that i'm not that kind of girl, and if I give affection or something else, it's not for having in return.

But NOW I've had enought. I'm not you puppet and you are not my master. I'm the master of myself.
But I do not know why.. you tricks me and I'm at your feet.
I'm in your power.
Everything you say I would like to do. Everything you would like me to be, I will.

Love you for the way you are and for your treating me like SHIT.

All I NEED it's just a little bit of consideration.
I need tenderness. I need embraces and kisses and warmth.

You give me nothing. Or you seems to give me nothing but you're afraid to go out and tell the truth and explain yourself.
Your being silent is the best way to let me know that you deeply love me.

I'm not the strong girl you think I'm.
I Need consideration.

You're giving me NOTHING and everything.
I feel alone. I'm jealous.

Feel free to contact me. Feel free to kiss me. Feel free to...everything.

I feel free to go out of your life. FOREVER

(are you afraid or not, now?)

Odi et amo. quare id faciam, fortasse requiris.

nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.

Odio ed amo. Perché lo faccia, forse richiederai.
Non so, ma lo sento accadere e mi torturo.